The subject of assisted dying, which will be debated in the Scottish Parliament today, is the most difficult issue I’ve faced since becoming an MSP in 2016.
For years now, I’ve wrestled with how I would vote were the decision ever to come in front of me at Holyrood.
Today, it will, and for a number of reasons I’m going to vote against the proposed bill to legalise assisted dying in Scotland.
I have come to this conclusion partly from my own experiences, partly on the basis of what constituents across Glasgow are telling me, and partly just from my own instinct of what I feel is right.
But ultimately, in my heart, I just cannot go along with this.
Since the Assisted Dying for Terminally Ill Adults (Scotland) Bill was first introduced by Liberal Democrat MSP Liam McArthur – someone who I greatly like and respect – I have received probably more than 2,000 pieces of correspondence from Glaswegians. I would say more than 90 per cent of these have been against the idea, urging me not to vote for it, and setting out a great number of warnings about the policy.
That said, I have to take into account what the people who I democratically represent would like me to do.
And like everyone on this subject, I have my own experiences to draw on.
I think of the example of my late father Alec, who, at one point, had deteriorated so much with his COPD that we were told he might not make it.
He went on to live for another four years.
Seeing him in hospital initially, he wasn’t thinking straight, he even thought I was one of the nurses.
I think of how, after hearing the news at first, my mum believed he would pull through, and her constant reminder for all of us that "where there’s life, there’s hope".
Had assisted dying been in place, and with a verdict from doctors that he only had months to live, would my dad have ended up taking that option?
Would we have been robbed of all those years of his life as a consequence?
Another issue which is being repeatedly raised, and rightly so, is the issue of palliative care.
The Scottish Government doesn’t put anything like enough into hospices, who are struggling on a number of fronts.
These wonderful facilities and their invaluable staff can only be sustained by whip rounds at funerals, coffee mornings and the generosity of donors.
It should not be like that.
If the Scottish political establishment put as much effort into guaranteeing the future and financial viability of hospices as it did this subject, we’d all be in a much better place.
For me, we can’t even begin to think about assisted dying legislation until we’ve created a first-class palliative care structure.
I know there are many who feel very strongly in favour of assisted dying, and who have powerful testimonies to support their views.
I’m sorry that I can’t vote for a piece of legislation which is so important to them.
But after years of agonising over this topic, I have to vote with what my head and heart are telling me.
